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Parents
By Terese Corey Blanck and Peter Vogt In their bestselling book Now, Discover Your Strengths (Free Press, 2001), Gallup Organization researchers Marcus Buckingham and Donald Clifton cite 30 years’ worth of Gallup research—involving almost 2 million participants—that points to a key conclusion about people and careers:
This task is difficult enough when you’re considering yourself and your own life. It can be even tougher for you if you’re the parent of a high school or college student and you’re trying to help your son/daughter identify and apply his/her unique strengths in selecting a college major, for example, or determining a career path after graduation. Fortunately, there are many things you can do to become a thought-provoking, inspiring resource for your young adult as he/she embarks on this critical journey: Set the Stage for Authentic Dialogue Clear your thoughts about what you might want for your son/daughter in the way of a college major or career, and instead be fully present to listen to the path(s) he/she is contemplating. Give your student express permission to talk with you about his/her career-related thoughts and dreams. And let your student know that his/her exploration and decision making will take some time. Help Your Student Pinpoint His/Her Natural Abilities You’ve known your son/daughter for many years now. Share your observations of what his/her innate talents or gifts seem to be, and encourage him/her to ask close friends for their observations as well. You’d be amazed by the number of people—especially young adults—who feel they have no strengths because what they’re good at comes so easily to them that (in their minds) none of it can possibly be “real” talents! Help your student see—and acknowledge—the strengths he/she may not recognize. Teach Your Student How to Identify His/Her Interests and Passions It’s one thing to be good at something; it’s another thing entirely to enjoy that something. Many a young person has been steered into a major or career direction that made sense with his/her abilities but not his/her interests. The result is often disappointment…or worse. As a parent, you can do your student a great service by helping him/her identify what he/she really enjoys. What does your son seem to focus on almost naturally? What grabs your daughter’s attention the most? Conversely, what activities does your student absolutely hate?!
Encourage Your Student to Test Ideas You’ve been in the world a lot longer than your student has, so you’ve developed relationships you can tap to help him/her test academic and career ideas. If your neighbor, for example, sells insurance and your daughter has expressed interest in a finance-related career, encourage her to talk to your neighbor for initial ideas on the types of finance careers that exist in the world of insurance. If your second cousin—who lives hundreds of miles away—is a veterinarian and your son thinks he might want to major in zoology at college, suggest that your son email your cousin and ask her some questions about veterinarians and others who work with animals for a living. Point Out Resources Your Student Can Tap for Academic and Career Planning Many, if not most, high schools and colleges employ guidance counselors and career development professionals who are paid—through your tax dollars and perhaps even your private tuition dollars as well—to help students with academic and career planning issues. Encourage your student to explore the often overlooked resources available at his/her school’s guidance office, career center, or counseling or advising center. Help Your Student Keep Academic and Career Decisions in Perspective Too often, young people treat choosing a major or selecting an initial career path as though it were a life-and-death decision. But of course it’s not. Help your student keep that in mind. The path your student will take on the road to his/her educational and career goals will be winding, not straight. Be Willing to Say, “I Don’t Know” Every day, somewhere in this country, a high school or college student says to a career counselor, “I’d like to major in art, but I can’t because I’ll never get a job with that degree.” What a tragedy—and it often unfolds because a well-meaning but less-than-knowledgeable parent has told his/her child, “You’ll never get a job with a _____ degree.” Where does that kind of (mis)information come from? Often, it’s something a parent has only vaguely “heard about” or “read somewhere”—and it isn’t even remotely accurate. So when your student comes to you with an idea for a college major or career, be very careful about sharing with him/her what you (think you) know about that possibility. Challenge your own assumptions and perceptions about various educational and career paths, and teach your son/daughter to do the same. True, there may not be as many jobs in the world of art as there are in, say, accounting; but there are some jobs out there—and one of them may have your student’s name on it.
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